{"id":558,"date":"2011-09-02T09:50:12","date_gmt":"2011-09-02T08:50:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wickham.uk\/blog\/?p=558"},"modified":"2011-09-02T09:50:12","modified_gmt":"2011-09-02T08:50:12","slug":"some-jokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wickham.uk\/blog\/2011\/09\/some-jokes\/","title":{"rendered":"Some jokes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Inspired by the best <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theregister.co.uk\/2011\/08\/25\/fringe_gag\/\" target=\"_blank\">Edinburgh Fringe joke<\/a> results, I came across these <a href=\"http:\/\/niklowe.blogspot.com\/2011\/08\/tuesday-tomfoolery.html\" target=\"_blank\">one-liners<\/a><\/p>\n<address>A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.\u00a0 When I<br \/>\nquizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could<br \/>\ncheck her balance, so I pushed her over.<\/p>\n<p>A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was<br \/>\nrefused permission to broadcast &#8216;The Flintstones&#8217;.\u00a0 A spokesman for the<br \/>\nchannel said. &#8220;A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand<br \/>\nthe humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our<br \/>\nlocal pet shop and they were \u00a370!!!\u00a0 B******s to this, I thought, I can<br \/>\nget one cheaper off the web.<\/p>\n<p>Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.<\/p><\/address>\n<address>\n<\/address>\n<address>I start a new job in Seoul next week.\u00a0 I thought it was a good Korea move.<\/p>\n<p>I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was<br \/>\nsobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.\u00a0 I thought to myself<br \/>\n&#8216;that guy&#8217;s heading for a breakdown.&#8217;<\/p><\/address>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Inspired by the best Edinburgh Fringe joke results, I came across these one-liners A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.\u00a0 When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time&#8230;. I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wickham.uk\/blog\/2011\/09\/some-jokes\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Some jokes&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[139],"class_list":["post-558","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random-thoughts","tag-joke"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wickham.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/558","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wickham.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wickham.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wickham.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wickham.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=558"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.wickham.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/558\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wickham.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=558"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wickham.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=558"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wickham.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=558"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}